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Love is what you call a phantom pain. The poets write of it, our great art represents it, it inspires our musicians, but it does not really exist. […] Like an ulcer you think you have but the surgeon opens you up and finds nothing there. It is a chemical reaction, Keesy. Hormones. People die for it, but no one has ever proven it exists.
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When you diet, you tell yourself that you can’t be trusted, that your hunger (for love, pleasure, friendship) will destroy people. You begin to believe you are hopeless, a bottomless pit. This is not a kind thing to say to yourself. It is also not true. No one’s hunger is bottomless.
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You’ll forgive your friends a lot, and if you’re a woman, you’ll forgive your straight male friends even more. They represent the possibility of mutual toleration between the sexes, a keyhole into the mind of the Other, and the promise of one day meeting someone just like them except that you want to sleep with them.
There’s no such thing as a stockpile of missed opportunities.
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And if a woman should say she doesn’t want to have children at all, the world is apt to go decidedly peculiar: ‘Ooooh, don’t speak too soon,’ it will say - as if knowing whether or not you’re the kind of person who desires to make a whole other human being in your guts, out of sex and food, then have the rest of your life revolve around its welfare, is a breezy, ‘Hey - whevs’ decision. Like electing to have a picnic on an unexpectedly sunny day or changing the background picture on your desktop. ‘When you meet the right man, you’ll change your mind, dear,’ the world will say, with an odd, aggressive smugness.
Source: littlekitsch
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You bring a bag of homemade cookies to the beach, or make your best friend’s birthday cake, and people will coo “You made that?” in a way that they never do for people who do mundane things like fix cars or birth babies. You will be a Nobel Prize winner, a computer programmer, a rock star.
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When you, or your mate, drive across the geometrically impossible expanse that is North America you become hypnotised, as the first pioneers must’ve been, by its endless possibilities. I met a cowboy near Dodge City who said,“There’s only so much horizon people can take,” meaning I suppose that some people find opportunity daunting, that limitless sky is frightening with all its scope for change and hope.
Russell Brand; “Booky Wook 2”
Note to self: when daunted, fight the fear.
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Love stories depend on disappointment, on unequal births and feuding families, on matrimonial boredom and at least one cold heart. Love stories, nearly without exception, give love a bad name. We value love not because it ’s stronger than death but because it ’s weaker. Say what you want about love: death will finish it. You will not go on loving in the grave, not in any physical way that will at all resemble love as we know it on earth. The perishable nature of love is what gives love its profound importance in our lives. If it were endless, if it were on tap, love wouldn’t hit us the way it does.
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People who recover from eating disorders can’t be expected to have higher standards than the rest of society, most of whom would like to alter a body part or two. The difference now is that I’m no longer willing to compromise my health to achieve that. I’m not even willing to compromise my happiness to achieve it, or for the thought of my thighs to take up valuable space in my mind. It’s just not that important.
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