“The final shot shows a woman talking around a mouthful of cake, plaintively telling the camera, “Don’t look at me like that.” Is this a PSA for eating disorders? No, it’s meant to remind you, as the legend onscreen says, that “Every snack has its price,” and in this case the price is your self-respect.”—Lesley Kinzel; Thanks for the Food Guilt, Major Health Insurer! I Sure Feel Healthy Now.
“The internet is carefully constructed to make everyone’s lives look better than they actually are. And number two: The sadness of break ups can’t be conveyed in a single photograph or status update. It’s more nuanced than that, more silent but deadly. There’s also the other option that they’re just not hurting as much as you are. That’s usually the case, isn’t it? Your ex gets to move on while you have trouble getting out of bed. But then again, we never actually know what someone is going through.”—Ryan O’Connell; What Your Ex Is Probably Doing Right Now
1. Expectations are a blessing.
When a lot is expected of you, it’s very easy to let the pressure of meeting those expectations get to you. In fact, it can be paralyzing, and that’s not good.
What is good is that if you succeed and you meet those expectations, the cumulative impact is exponential. That’s because expectations are just leftover praise. You’ve earned them by doing something great.
So, the next time you feel overwhelmed by expectations, just remember that if you weren’t capable of meeting them, they wouldn’t exist.
2. Ignore haters.
I always take more pleasure in liking something than in disliking something. That’s not to say there aren’t some things that deserve to be liked and some things that deserved to be disliked, but I’m never fond of disliking something.
The lesson I’ve learned is to be wary of those who are. The ones who seem to think that being critical is the same as having good taste. Those people almost never have good taste, so their opinions don’t matter.
There’s no particular sophistication required to be a critic. We know this, because children often dislike foods they learn to love as adults.
So, even if what you’ve done isn’t so great, just remember that those who can’t say so with grace, those who seem to take pride in criticizing you, their opinions don’t matter. It may very well be that you’ve created a masterpiece, and they’re just children.
If you can learn to be a fair judge of yourself, you won’t feel the need to rely on other people’s opinions.
“It seems like the Tea Party, Occupy Wall Street — there’s such tremendous disparity right now. It’s like, you have the legalization of gay marriage in the state of New York and three months later you have Jamey Rodemeyer killing himself, yet another gay teenager bullied into taking his own life. And, you know, again, as a gay man, I look at that and say there’s a hopelessness that surrounds it. But as a human being, I look at it and say, “Why? Where is this disparity coming from and why can’t we as a culture, as a society, dig deeper to examine it?” We’re terrified of facing ourselves, we’re terrified of what we’ll find and so, instead, we seem to waste time and energy with small-mindedness and intolerance and with bigotry and with hatred and with fear.”—Zachary QuintoNew York Magazine Interview
“Life is messy and it is not black and white. There is no single, correct story about your life. Because each moment, in each person’s life, has multiple versions, all true.”—Penelope Trunk; Resume Advice You Never Hear
“The person I am today is the sum of these mistakes, and I’m truly not ashamed for having made them. After all, who hasn’t made a few? I don’t think I should have to hide my face because I was young and insecure and overly free with my genitals, but I can’t either stand up and proclaim there’s nothing wrong with sleeping with any guy who asks just because you think that’s what you’re supposed to do. I can’t confuse vulnerability with empowerment.”—Emily McCombs I Have No Idea What My Sex Number Is
“Touting a preference for male culture while looking down on female culture can be a workaround — a way of benefitting from sexism by aligning yourself with the dominant regime. A lot of women who say they “don’t get along with women” are utilizing this strategy.”—Emily McCombs; I’m A Carrie! Why I’m Not Ashamed to Like Girl Stuff Anymore
“I am lonely, yet not everybody will do. I don’t know why, some people fill the gaps and others emphasize my loneliness. In reality those who satisfy me are those who simply allow me to live with my idea of them.”—Anaïs Nin (via nonchalant-beatnik)